06 August 2013

6.8.13 :: intensity.

These toddler times are intense - with both positive and not as positive intensity. (; let me explain: this morning, maybe ten minutes after waking up, you went over and got your little baby from her bedspace. "Love," you said, hugging her to your face. I said, "oh you love your babies don't you" and you kissed baby and said love again, then brought baby over and said, "pnap" (which means wrap nap), and I asked, "oh, you want to wear your baby?" "O." So I got a scarf appropriate for tiny baby as you grabbed the bigger baby too, and wanted to wear them both. So, wrapped them both to you while you said to me, "bebe, oda!" "Oh? You want to yoga with your babies on you?" "Oo!" "That's so sweet, I bet they will love it!" And so you did. After a little bit they were kinda coming loose so as I tried to rewrap at your request, you must've spotted/been inspired by the chairs...which you ran over to with babies and wraps and exclaimed, "bebe, weeee!" (Which means swing!) and then "ammok," and so we made them each a wrap hammock under chairs and you swung them happily while singing and talking to them. (((: morning melt, oh my heart! We had a mamababy park date around noon so we fixed breakfast and left. We all had a great time! You (of course) swing a bunch and went down the slides, your two favourite park things (aside from running, but this park wasn't too friendly to that)! You let me know when you needed to go to the bathroom and walked me over to it. You made some new friends! Ravenna, who is a year older than you, was soo sweet, she really wanted to take your hand and walk with you, however you weren't into it at the time, so we took the opportunity to work on "space" (: you had a nice siesta in the car, though not as long as you really need, and when we got home we had some things to do. Today is the new moon (not that I need to tell you miss on your game) so I have some tinctures and oils I've been waiting to start and some laundry to sun and hang up. I wrote out a short list while you played in the kitchen, went and hung up one basket of clothes and walked out toward the back door calling you, hearing you on the back deck, and then I discovered a disaster of disasters...! You, sweet child, had used your ladle to scoop out HALF of all of the traeger grease.....all over you, the deck, the old milk box, later I discovered it was all over the dogs too....holy hell, it was a mess of all messes!!! (And I thought a poop miss was bad...) So that was fun to clean up..! Haha! Needless to say, the list didn't get done (; baba got home from her trip today too, and you were basically glued to her all evening (: when I told you this morning that she would be home today, you wanted only to use her bathroom (nearly every time we were home today haha) and kept looking for her, sweet girl. Also today/the last few days: "hao-co-co!" (helicopter has evolved), "byetuck, weeeeeooooooo" (firetruck), "pltane" (plantain), "bakh" (squash, haha), "de-juh-rus" (dangerous, as in fuel can and fire, hahaha), "I want down" and I'm blanking (; Also tonight while playing with blocks I asked you what letter was on one, you guessed a few that weren't correct, and I said, "what letter does saoirse start with?" "Esssss!!" "That's right! This is the letter s, remember?" "O." ((((: also picking up left and right a bit! And generally trying to say anything I do. Which includes a 'damnit' that I said earlier...haha. Annnnnd I've been pretty diggin on a couple of songs lately, one of which you drop everything and dance to, the other of which you sing to/with me and also just whenever, heheheee, cutest ever: "roooooola roola" haha melt!! Anyway - those tinctures and oils? Half done while you sleep away on my back. So, some photos, and I'm off!

[ stretching in eka pada rajakapotasana the other day and you sauntered im from the other room and decided to join in...to nurse! bahahah. oh sun, I love you so!! ]

[ green smoothie break/cuter than life. seriously. I can't even handle it. ]

[ loving the swings at the park! no news there (; dem curls! ] 

[ mandala love. I used my key to cut some tough stems and you were mimicking me (: little sponge, you don't miss a beat. ]

[ morning egg gathering in your new dress from papa (: it was all "wahm" heh, one of our hens is broody. ]

[ puppy and baby yoga! ]

[ bedtime smudged yourself! with your own feather ((: ] 

[ ...yeah...cups as shoes and one suctioned to your face. no, totally, I get it ]

[ tandem babywearing yoga this morning! note snack cup lids around your legs...hahaha. you have a thing about putting things on your thighs and feet! also your hair! gah! ] 

[ post nursing lap snuggled today (((: ]

[ oh just being sweet and adorable! ]

[ puppylove ]

[ aaaaand then this happened. hahaha! never a dull moment! wouldn't change it for the world though little love! ] 

[ rip dress ); ]

29 July 2013

29.7.13 // new developments!

Well, I blinked and another month passed! Sigh. One of these days I'll learn (; you've had a vocab growth spurt this week! Little sentences! You've been saying two and three word simple thoughts for awhile, but these have been a little more complex and strung together! It's adorable. "Need milk, night night" was your 230am mantra a few nights ago, interspersed with "baby, milk" and "need mama," haha oh girl. You're SO sweet! Yesterday morning the first thing you did upon waking was grab my face and kiss it! :D (though I do think your sleepiness caused you to think and/or expect nipple, hahaha!) Yesterday also brought, "hold it baby," aka hold me. ((: we went back to mima falls trail east sunday with Kim and Luna to pick berries (your fave), and you broke a stick in half and said, "two sticks!" Whoa! We have been working on two, and colours for a few months now, so this 'two sticks' business is exciting. You're doing pretty well with colours - you know yellow (haha...everything has been yellow for about two months), green, blue, purple, pink, red, black (usually only in reference to "chicken, black" though haha) and sometimes brown. You pointed out the letters t, a, h, e, p as f, and o on blocks the other night! I kind of don't know where this is coming from..! You are a smart cookie!! The other big thing is....'potty trained!' I think it's safe to say you're 100% there!! At twenty months! :D It's been a fun and exhilarating journey together! <3 When The Epic Rash happened, there was lots more naked time going on, which became only diapered at night, and then shortly after it was all healed up we started taking trips to town diaperfree. The first weekend in june when we went to Mother Earth News Fair in puyallup, we drove both ways diaperfree! You only soiled 4 or 5 diapers the whole trip - early saturday morning to sunday night. This transitioned into only being diapered from first wakeup after bedtime until morning, about six hours a day, and then just a day or two before I last wrote, we ditched all of the diapers. Then we got pretty sick); and found out we were leaving a week later for idaho! Fourteen hours in the car, seven days...big trip. You were so peaceful and tolerant and impressively chill with the whole thing!!! Not a single protest about the car either way and did so well for being gone so long, plus only had a couple of misses the whole trip. It was pretty incredible given the circumstances. We also got some pretty awesome memorabilia from your great grandparents, who passed away this summer. We went to honor their lives and I am so excited we got some things of theirs to pass along the generations and remind us of them! We've been back for two weeks and things on the toilet learning front have totally progressed. Last night marked almost a week's time of nothing hidden under the sheets in case of an overnight miss (haha) and I no longer feel paranoid/the need to obsessively check for dryness under you at night (y'know, just in case!), and now were done and its crazy, exciting, and I feel proud of us! We did it, together! You're a rockstar of life my sweet little sun! Yesterday you helped grandma and me sift one of the raised beds! You loved finding living things (add inchworm to the list of things you just love, it's soo cute how you say it) and getting dirty! We also added two ducks to the fam sunday night...which you're so happy about! You love ducks (; you went right into their area, got some chicken snacks, and said, "ducks? snack! chicken no." oh my it was the sweetest! You also loveeeee the pigs! "Hi boys!," you say, and "hi la-ee" (hi ladies) to the chickens, hehe, you basically run the backyard (; you love gathering eggs, too - you put them all from the coop to the basket, carry them in, and put them into the egg container! I love that you know that eggs come from chickens (and soon ducks!) and all of the amazing associations you make. One of the things we brought home from our big trip is a little baby crib (this feels weird to model...since we don't do the crib thing. And we have two. I think about it a lot.) that your great grandma got for you at an antique show...it's adorable! You've really taken to putting babies into it since we returned (and you bonded with a couple of dolls on our trip that joined us at home, too), especially at bedtime. I suggested it to help with the bedtime transition the first few nights, but now it's something you have to do before sleep. ((: the last week or so, you ask to wear your baby first, "bebe, back, wrapnap. please," then tuck her in with your babycow (both of whom may/may not need a toilet break first, hahaha, it's the cutest ever when you take your babies to the toilet! You do it just like we always have with EC, holding them over the toilet saying, 'ssss' hehehe!!), and then tell me, "shhh" with a hand to your mouth, and show me your sign for sleepy/sleeping. Basically melt my heart into a giant puddle of love!!!!! Tonight you wanted baby on your back, but then on your front....so you could kiss her. Yep. I died of the cute. Especially because you don't just give her one kiss. You do this super cute kisskisskisskisskiss kisssssss kiss thing (that I totally do to you all the time!) and it is perfect. You are such a little love! I learn and have learned so much from you! I love having your perspective on things and the constant pull to center, to focus on what's important. Having you here with me is expanding, thought provoking, propelling. So very much. I just love being your mama. These last few weeks I have felt really tuned in and with the flow. I definitely have moments and days where I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted (mentally & physically), but overall, I feel like parenting you flows from me naturally and easily - when I am tuned in, nourished, and refueled. There were a couple of months prior that I felt quite differently...I was not refueling my mama heart or my bea heart, and it came out in my parenting. I was irritable, quick to anger, and perpetually anxious and frustrated. I've shifted again...into us. Your presence in my life as my daughter has narrowed my path - making it more straightforward and focused; yet in narrowing, providing more space for detours, meandering, and expanding. I'm sure I will stumble from it and this flow a number of times to come, and I'm really reveling in the now of this flow. Enjoying loving teaching living learning manifesting creating...flowing. Love love, my sweetestgirlintheworld. <3

[ chillin at aunt bee's house ]

[ sleeping cutie! ]

[ we went to the river with aunt bee and you had a blast! of course, little water lady (; ]

[ mamababyyoga ]

[ you love to garden as well ] 

[ holding a moth. you want to hold any/every creature we find! and kiss them, hehe ]

[ late night chats with nana on our trip ]

[ blurry, but oh so cute!! mid-kisses with your great great grandma helene! ]

[ two years ago & seven months round with you inside little sun | three weeks ago with twenty months old you in my arms...same outfit, same place, love! ] 

[ with cousin kali! such lovely little ladies ]

[ had so much fun at nat•soo•pah! especially once we got this floatie, heh ]

[ the family that yogas together, stays together! (; mama, papa, & uncle kev all in bakasana while you join us in adho mukha svanasana with your baby! lovelovelove! ]

[ wearing your great great grandfather's hat <3 ]

[ sitting with papa bill in his chair ]

[ nursing in grandma & grandpa's chair <3 love. ]

[ love for grammy on our last day ]

[ four generations! ]

[ little miss big girl at the lake! after our time in twin, we spent the weekend with cousin kali and rita at their cabin in pine! we had an amazing time! we got to go to the river where a natural hot spring was flowing into it and build pools of our own, and to the lake...which was really muddy. such a fun weekend! ]

[ bathroom breaks on the long road home! haha, you're too cool (; ]

[ mamababylove watching the windsurfers at hood river on the trip home ] 

[ little mama! radically redefining motherhood. ]

[ so nice to be home and have easy access to good food again! that's the hardest part about traveling...especially to an area without good food. eating in your new.to.us high chair! which is from grandma&grandpa ruhter's...it's from the 1950s and has been through their four children, their kids, grandkids, great grandkids, countless cousins...and now you, the first great great grandchild (((: I feel so lucky that we got to bring it with us! ] 

[ I love you ]

[ our hike to lower lena lake last week! ]

[ nursing under the trees with our mandala ((: ] 

[ you love to yoga...this little flow impressed me! you slid from (an impressive) uttanasana, into adho mukha svanasana, into uttihita chaturanga dandasana...three times! go saoirse! ] 

[ "mhdala. oda." {melt!} commence little warrior/goddess squat. you, my sweet, are so awesome! so intuitive and aware. a blessed guide for me! ] 

28 June 2013

27.6.13 | long time coming.

Oh my dearest sunshine...
It has been so long. So much has happened, of course!! You are so big and figuring the world out quickly! You are very talkative and have lots of words and signs, love to read books together, do "oda" (yoga) and take deep breaths,wear your babies, dance and sing, find mushrooms with mama, go for an "awk" as often as we can, and play "be bol" (; "I do" and "betted be" (blessed be) are two of your favourite phrases and recently you started to say "o." for yes! Haha, it's so cute. I'm impressed every day by your love for all things living! You know all the spots in the yard to find a "mat-th," "bat-eh-be-oh" (caterpillar), bee, "ba-beo-wee" (strawberry), "nale" (kale; not to be confused with snail), "by-ee" (flower), "mo-mawee" (rosemary), chicken, pig, tree, "awroo" (mushroom)....ah. You are the keeper of my heart, dear sun! You have a serious love for the moon, whom you howl at upon any mention of the word. You spend most of your days outside and love splashing in puddles and playing in all water in general (; you say all the cutest things (as evidenced above), the newest heart melters are "love love" and "need mama" ! ❤ Today you were under the weather (well, you only acted it for half the day!) with a fever ); now, you toastily sleep next to me and I can't even believe that you are real right now. You amaze me so every day! I want to write to you all of the things you say and do...I want to remember everything! This time is so fleeting and I miss it already. Toddlerhood has definitely been the most trying and rewarding time! It's tough work modeling healthy ways to express big emotions when I have so much room for improvement - but you are teaching me every day and and I'm soaking it up. You are "be here now" personified; a lesson that is and has been presented to me often. I have much more road to travel there, and I have come far! I am so grateful for you every day, and all the lessons you have come to teach me, and that you chose me as your mama! (Twice, I believe!) I am a very blessed mama indeed. (: 

[on our so{u}lstice road trip with aunt bee!] 

[little miss sunshine sat on a fungi, munchin on cashews and seeds...]

[at the beach to celebrate solstice a day late] 

05 August 2012

27.5-14.6.2012 :: busy weeks!

oh, my! so so very much has happened! (: aunt bee visited, first trip to the beach, a trip to visit aunt bee and to bend, lots of playdates, boxes, and driving! crazy times in our sweet little life (: i wish i'd been more up on this - soo many changes happening! <3

[evening walk through bush park!]

[silly girls!]

[you had that car figured out in about ten minutes! rolling it back and forth(: ]

[so beautiful]

[and so big and proud of yourself! you got to standing all on your own!]

[first time at the beach! you loved it...much like everything else outside and of nature(: ]

[mama <3 saoirse]

[the three!]

[aunt bee holding you while you are checking out the sand. hehe]

[this about sums it up. haha. oh nahnies.]


[nursing at the beach(; ]

[sand? haha yum?]

[with jamie at ninkasi!]

[just chillin. you know. (; ]

[mama's little explorer! before our walk at jedediah smith redwood park]

[babywearing aunt bee!]

[and babywearing grandma!


[haha!! at aunt bee's house. you pulled it onto yourself when trying to stand with it.]
[you and aunt bee having a heart to heart]

["talk to the spoon!" bend brewery]

[with {aunt} megan! on our trip to bend for her mama's birthday partay. she's mama's longest friend (: ]

[you have been so expressive from birth, m'love]

[oh hi i'm big (; ]

[swinging with mika! sellwood park.]

[sharing a swing with mika while sarah pushes you lovelies(: we had fun with those awesome ladies!]

[you also love swinging. heh]

[you love glass, special made batch, i see a perfect fit..haha. you look stoked!]

["welp, here i am. this is it."]

[aww, nahnies love(: ]

[little drummer girl. last playdate at latte play!]

[zombie baby arms, haha. this was the night you started to do this...it's adorable.]

[you began this on this night too! i love it! at boone's.]

[eating lemons, sitting in grandpa's lap. at gilgamesh.]


[you like this baby! first moments together(; ]

[holding peyton's arm (: unfortunately we didn't meet peyton and her family until the day before we moved! and we'd been sharing a wall with them since january. such a bummer!]

[goodbye {for now?} oregon...]