11.3.2012 / four months

today was the last day of mama's doula class. we were at bella vie by about ten til eight again, and you did wonderfully again! evidently a little more tired (after being up early yesterday, with not enough naptime, and still staying up until 1030, time change, and getting up early again today with little nappage...), but you did nap a little - and in the kanoe baby hammock! i really wanted one of those for you, but eventually just ruled it out  (sleeping next to you cuddled up in the bed is a hundred times better :D ), so i was glad you got to nap in it. it was sweet. oh sunshine, you amaze me more every single day. you are constantly so aware, alert, ready to experience the world around you. you're really getting good with your hands, your movements are much more controlled, and you're starting to try to grasp with just your thumb and index finger. you roll over lots and lots, though just from back to belly right now and you favor one side, but you go after toys by rolling! sometimes you get frustrated when you can't quite throw your whole weight over, fuss a little and flop back over, but then you try again, grunt a few times, and you do it! you look around to see who saw, little smile of accomplishment on your face. you lay on your belly in front of the mirror and lights, just kickin your feet; you remind me of frolicking in a meadow when you do this. it's so sweet! you are very much a little story teller, and you love to interact with your environment and everyone around you! you kick your feet as if you want down to join other mobile children (or see food haha, too soon love!) - but i keep telling you that you don't know how to crawl or walk yet! thankfully (: i'm just soaking up every single moment of this, i know it won't be like this for long. even these four months have absolutely flown by! you got about as fussy as you get for a few out at bella today, and they had the room you were born in cleaned up (there was a birth this weekend) so we walked in there...you immediately calmed, got quiet and very inquisitive, looking around. i wonder if you remember that place, that room, the first moments you came into this world. i am so curious about memory at this age, i think they say it's pretty much nil, but i know that even if you didn't have a visual memory, you had an energetic memory, you recognized the space and energy and feeling of it. of course i cried a little (as i am now)...i so miss your birth and your tiny little fragile baby self. not that you're not that now, but you've grown so much and you're so much more developed - and i love it! i remember thinking to myself in laborland, 'this feels soo long, but it's all going to be over and feel like it hardly even happened...just embrace it' and i did! but i was so right. each pressure wave felt long and drawn out, time is much different when you're inside your mind in an altered state, but then it was just over. and you were here! and you are here. and you are amazing! but what i would give to put that weekend on repeat just once more. ahh<3 we also weighed you today...you weigh 13lbs 11oz!!!! healthy baby girl! you do love to eat (: i'm thinking the scale at the breastfeeding group last week had to be off (operator error?)...no way you gained almost two pounds in six days! you cute little chunky monkey you. love you. happy four months of life in this world my beautiful babygirl. i can't wait to see what life will continue to bring for us, but i wish it would just slow down a tiny bit! (;

[sleeping in the baby hammock. melt my heart.]

[diggin the spoon, you make such a cute face when you put it in your mouth! i love when the babylegs slide down over your heels like this...too cute my dear!]