denial : more than just a river in egypt

it really sank in yesterday that it's been four months, and you're growing really fast. your first three months are over, the fourth trimester. and they'll never be relived. i miss the days of us laying in bed, skin to skin, all day. you fit on my chest a little more snugly then (; we still do this....but you are so big now, pushing yourself up to look at me! when we see other kids out and about i jokingly say, 'you're never gonna be that big, nope, not gonna happen!' and kiss you on the head...knowing i'm fooling no one. you're already getting teeth, you go for food like crazy (did i mention you spilled a bowl of cereal all over me the other night?), you grab my hands when i put them out and try to pull yourself up....you'll be sitting soon, and crawling, walking, talking...can't think about it yet! i lovelovelove this age that you are at. you're so much fun - not that you haven't always been - but now i'm better and quicker at figuring out what you need awhile before a cry comes (except teething...crying happens anyway): sorry love!), we aren't really on a 'schedule' as your naps are...sporadic to say the least (: but things are more smooth and we know each other better now, so we we spend less time figuring things out and more time playing together! right now you think it's funny when i dance horribly around the room(: and you smile when you see me (you've done that for awhile, but still). you're so smart, my beautiful girl. it's amazing how much you've not only grown, but developed in these four short months! some days i legitimately can't believe you're going to be a year old...or two or three, or five, eight, twelve, twenty! and someday i'll be looking at you, holding a sweet baby of your own. it's crazy how much you've changed my life...my perspectives, what's important, i know now that this is what life is really about. passing on the knowledge for you to better your world. sigh. it's just going so fast! and instead of laying in bed, cuddling with your sweet, four month old self who will only be this size today and never again...i'm writing you a note! that's rather silly(: i love you, my only sunshine! i'm gonna go cuddle your beautiful self now! <3

[you were just twelve days old here, so tiny in my arms sweet baby!]

[it's crazy how much different you look now...you are the most beautiful thing!]

[so little in your his hands]