you are my sunshine . . .: 26.4.2012

mer, i don't like when i get so behind on this because then i just want to be caught up and put it off too long! here goes...(:
thursday 26 april we had photos out at bella vie with heidi. it was for a fundraiser for la leche league. it was so fun! we did some super cute shots, and i am really excited to see them (: we got some also on the spot on the floor where i birthed you. that means so much to me. every time i'm in that room i get goosebumps and teary eyes, haha, but it was just sooo amazing!!! anyway. then we headed up to oly with brandi and lucy! getting through portland, you were crying so hard but i couldn't exit and that was the hardest you've ever cried, ever, and probably the longest without me holding you. i was a basketcase. seriously. internal meltdown status. my heart was racing and i felt like the worst mama ever)': i scooped you up out of your seat and held you so tight and loved on you and kissed you so much. you had a bubble i think, but also you were (i didn't really know at the time) getting sick. the rest of the drive was miserable for everyone i think): i found it so odd, because you do so well on that drive usually! poor baby): i gave you tons and tons of kisses....like usual...to make up for it. the rest of the weekend was a little better, but you picked up a pretty nasty sounding cough and stuffy/runny nose. the times i thought to check your temperature, i only had a thermometer that was about five degrees too cool, but you were close in temp to me, so i never worried too much. you had troubles nursing and got frustrated with the difficulty breathing): it's so hard for me when you feel so yucky, because i can't really do anything about it!): we went to the market and hung around olympia, before i really realized you were sick, hung out in the yard but not much in the garden, but mostly stayed inside and cuddled a lot. we made cookies. great-grandparents mike and loretta came to visit! you were not feeling good at all then, though, and you cried most when i was not holding you. sunday night, after we got back home, you hung out with grandma and grandpa for a couple of hours while i went out with brandi. first time, ever, and of course, since your birth as well. i think it was too soon after you were sick, because they said you were crying and i raced home to swoop you up. you started to feel more back to yourself around monday/tuesday. it was such a tough weekend for us both, i think. hardest weekend of my mamahood so far! i wish i could wave a wand and make you feel all better my lovey. i'm sure every mama feels like that! by sunday afternoon, you cried just seeing the carseat, and i felt so so bad after those long drives, and we stayed in monday and cuddled and just hung out. (: tuesday the first was busy! i needed to go to an office, but you were sleeping late, so i got back into bed and took a little nap with you. ah, so wonderful (: then we went to my appointment, then mother goose, where i got you a few things! you only had two or three size six month onesies, so i got you a few, a swimsuit (!), and a cute jacket and hoodie, oh and two pair of babylegs! all for under $21 (: go mama! hehe, can't wait for you to wear them! though one of the onesies i had that says 6-12months you wore today, and it's pretty big, hehe, so i'm kinda happy about continuing my denial that you're so big...(: we also went to the office (where, proud and confident mama moment, i nursed you nonchalantly somewhere i hadn't expected to(: yay!) that i needed to go, and to brandi's and on a little walk. wednesday we stayed in mostly, we went for a walk to the bank in the afternoon and then to first wednesday with brandi and lucy. it was all about mamas, and i got a free carnation! which you later had tons of fun with(: we came home so grandma could say bye to you before going to olympia for the weekend, hung out, and you crashed a little early. (: also, you *almost* pulled yourself to standing! well. the next day, you DID! ummmm hi i'm big?! just on my hands (though now you're pretty well able to on anything of the right height - not too high, not too low hehe). we hung out and sort of had a photoshoot at brandi's thursday. you tried to crawl into lucy's carseat and made her smile, giggles TONS at the kitty (less when i started videoing(; haha), and looked straight stylin in your new jacket and little mohawk! friday we went to mister jack's house and hung out. baby noah was there too! you liked his belly, and you and jack officially have swapped spit (not okay btw)...your hands were from your mouth, to his, back to yours, back to his, then you tried to go for mine buttttt i was not so into that (; haha oh girl! we went to first friday in silverton, and it was super chilly, so i got to put you in your new hoodie which was um, huge. (: i must say....six months still workin three month clothes (though you fit in 6mo onesies...boo) makes me happy you still so tiny! :D i mean, you're growing, but still my bebe heh. saturday we went to the market with amber and mister landen, and also to a baby consignment store where i got you three super cute shirts for $5! woo hoo! you cuddled with miss lucy jae some more too (we kinda love them(: heh) and sunday we hung out in the sun in your too-cute-for-words lavender gingham button-up. ummm it is so so cute! i wore you on my back for a couple of hours too and got a lot done(: love wearing you my babygirl! omg. you are getting so big!! in....six months...twenty-four weeks...you have gone from in my belly, to here in this world, as a little sleeping beauty who ate, slept, and cuddled, to being even more alert than you were at birth, making such sweet sounds to me, interacting with me, giving me kisses...oh, those kisses, i could just DIE. (: and sitting up by yourself so straight now! and pulling yourself up to standing, and trying to crawl! and standing while holding onto things! and now i understand {almost} all of your cues, and know your needs, and nursing has gone from stressful and crazy new, to second nature! and i am so comfortable doing it anywhere too (: and i just can't believe how much you've grown and changed!!! oh, what will i say in another six months....crazycrazycrazy! you will be walking and talking by then probably! ahhh! think i'll stay in the now and not look that far ahead (; get ready for days and days of photo overload...! :D